Table of Contents
With You in Your room
Tokyo. I miss Baba so much, that there is a constant ache in my chest.
Early this morning, however, He relieved it slightly by a dream—my first dream of Him after His passing:
The marriage of Baba’s adopted son Kinshuk had also been held.
After having fieldwalk with Baba, I was with Him and several other workers in His room in Calcutta. A few minutes passed in normal discussions, during which He smiled and joked.
Then He turned to speak confidentially to me.
I looked up and saw my answer written in three-dimensional letters suspended in the air. I read this reply to Him, without understanding what I was saying.
Understanding carries no weight, I thought. Only feeling matters. Only love matters.
Baba spoke intimately with me:
It took me a moment, and then I knew whom He meant. I almost laughed, because my feeling for her was simply as a student.
He smiled. It was only playful lovers’ talk, and of course He knew the truth. He hugged me tightly, and I began to cry, feeling I would again soon be separated from Him.
Now I remembered that this is what the three-dimensional letters said. So I added:
He didn’t reply, so I embraced Him more closely, completely, and went on crying.
In this state I woke up, and indeed I was crying. My pillow was soaked in tears. I rubbed my face in those tears, and felt Him inside of me.
I knew this was His strange way of comforting me—for, though my throat swelled and tears flowed, the top of my head throbbed rhythmically and all the cells of my body quivered with His blissfulness.
Our case with Amnesty temporarily rests
- The woman from Amnesty International called me, saying:
I guess that the violence stopped because the communists believe Ananda Marga will crumble in the absence of Sarkar.
But we always gain strength out of adverse conditions. The annual gathering in Ananda Nagar, which was concluded a few days ago, was even bigger than usual.
More than 20,000 people attended. Many were new people who had not even seen Sarkar. So, I wouldn’t be surprised if, after watching our development for a few months or so, the communists recommence their attacks against us.
You will see it. But I will not
Taipei. A few days ago, Dada Pranavatmakananda interviewed Mr. N.C. Ganguli, an old colleague of Baba’s from the Jamalpur Railway accounts office.
He never learned meditation, though he held Baba in highest esteem.
Ganguli said that daily after lunch many of the staff would gather around Baba’s desk for discussion. Sometime in 1952, Baba was talking to them about communism.
He said it was an inhumane philosophy, and therefore would not survive for long.
It would eventually completely disappear from the world.
Not only would communism face such a fate, even the Soviet Union itself would disintegrate.
At that time, Stalin’s nation was a powerful force, so the statement was surprising.
(Even now that communism is in trouble, it does not appear likely that the USSR will collapse.)
So Ganguli asked:
Since shortly after Baba’s passing, Pranavatmakanandaji has had a special duty which I envy.
He is in charge of collecting the accounts of Baba-experiences from Margis, non-Margis and workers.
The amount of material has so far been enormous— already hundreds of video tapes.
We can guess that hiscompleted reports will contain sufficient new information for writing scores of booksabout Baba.
Pranavatmakanandaji also told me of another incident from that Jamalpur office.
One of Baba’s colleagues clearly remembered that around 1959, Baba told him:
In my family the longevity is not more than 70 years.
My grandfather and my father both died early.
So there is very little chance that I’ll cross 70.
If I were to cross seventy, then I would personally show the world the power of my ideology.
But there is very little chance of that.
Baba died at the age of 69.
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