Kalpataru Grants All Boons

One evening instead of going for a walk Baba came straight to the ashram. It was around May or June of 1955. For sometime, Baba talked with the manager of the ashram in His room and I continued to wait on the inner veranda with five or six other people.

After finishing His talk with the ashram manager Baba came to the inner veranda. As He came out of the room, one of the other disciples was the first to salute Him and Baba asked him, “What do you wish?”

He asked for his kalyan, (salvation or realisation).

Baba said, “You will attain your own kalyan much earlier than your death”.

Then came the turn of the next brother. He asked for his own salvation and the boon of doing service to humanity. Baba blessed him to attain his own kalyan in this very body and asked him to specify the number of people he wanted to serve (jan kalyan). He indicated the number and Baba blessed him with the boon of salvation and service to humanity with this body.

Then came the turn of the third brother, who had a strange request.

He asked, “That the “Qualified Brahma may be liberated from its causal qualifications” (the cessation and merger of the universe in the Cosmic Consciousness).

Baba said, “Kalpataru can not grant such a boon. You ask for something else”.

This brother disciple was more of a philosopher and was not ready to change his request.

Baba then explained to him why such a request was against the cosmic will, but he still did not change his request.

Thereafter he asked for the boon to be made nirman citta.

Baba again asked him to ask for something else, but as he did not want to change his desire so he sat to one side. By now we had all realised that Baba had become Kalpataru.

The fourth and fifth gentleman also asked for their own salvation and the boon of doing service to a certain number of human beings. Baba granted them the boon of their desire.

Now in the end it was my turn. I did my sastaunga pranam and sat at Baba’s feet.

Baba asked me also, “What do you wish?”

I said, “Salvation of the self and service to humanity”.

Baba said, “Jan kalyan is a vague term with vast implications. Fix a limit on it”.

I asked that the largest number of people might attain their salvation through Ananda Marga on this planet. Baba instructed me to be even more clear and specific.

I said, “May at least 51% of the human race attain their goal in life through my medium.”

Baba enquired whether I wanted both my wishes to be fulfilled through the present body itself. He queried whether service to humanity to this extent is possible through the medium of one body.

I replied, “I certainly want my salvation in this very body and if for service to humanity I have to take another body, I have no objection to that”.

Baba said, “In that case the second body would mean nirman citta”.

I said, “I do not know what is nirman citta. Only those who are such can know. All I want is to serve humanity”.

Baba was pleased with my reply, placed His hand on my head and blessed me, “Tathastu. As you wish.”

I did my sastaung pranam to the Lord and accompanied him on His walk.

Next day the ashram manager told me that Baba had said to him, “Others asked for salvation or nirman citta directly and did not get them, but Nagina got both.”

This was a great grace of Baba that I received such a blessing from Him.

BABA CURES ME AGAIN

Once while I was staying with Bindeshwariji in Jamalpur, I fell ill. A flu epidemic was at its height then and I also fell victim to it.

If I had a fever that continued for more than 2 days, it would always develop into a long bout of incurable nausea and vomiting from the next day until the end of my fever.

Sometimes I would vomit 25 times in one day.

My breath would be so foul that I would not like to even open my mouth. When I opened my mouth I would again feel nauseous because of the bad smell.

To allay the foul odour, especially before taking any medicine, I would wash and disinfect my mouth with warm water mixed with antiseptic and then take the medicine.

It became difficult to even talk and so like a mute person, I mostly used to explain my intentions by gestures or through muffled sounds.

During these bouts, I had a peculiar tendency that I could not even keep medicine down. The vomiting would only stop once the doctors started administering intravenous glucose to prevent dehydration and to provide nutrition.

Only my wife and my domestic assistant knew this. Only these two could tend to me during illness.

During the flu epidemic, both my wife and our assistant were at my village. I therefore asked Bindeshwariji to either send me to the village in the care of one of his domestic staff or call my domestic assistant from there by telegramme. Bindeshvariji did not accept y suggestions at all.

He thought that perhaps I was not comfortable enough at his residence and therefore wanted to leave. He would not think of sending me to my village, and as far as the question of calling my own domestic assistant was concerned, he was not prepared to admit that he would not be able to serve me just as well himself. In this situation I had no option but to keep quiet. In the meantime, he also called a doctor without my knowledge. The doctor examined me and started writing a prescription. I warned the doctor not to prescribe any medicine with a bad taste or I would not be able to swallow it. The doctor wrote the prescription and left and Bindeshwariji went with him, returning with lots of medicine and fruits for me. By now my mouth was feeling and smelling foul. I was spitting constantly and somehow managed to swallow the pills, but could not take the mixture at all. With Bindeshwariji’s constant persuasion I contrived to swallow one dose but had to vomit immediately. Then in the evening Bindeshwariji brought Baba to see me. When I started rising to do my pranam to Baba, He stopped me and asked me to remain lying. He sat down on a chair and told me that Bindeshwariji had told Him that I wanted to go home or to call my domestic assistant here. I said, “Baba, when I am ill, my nature is such that apart from my wife or my domestic assistant, no one else can look after me. Others will feel great difficulty in looking after me. You know my nature. It is no secret from you”. Baba said “But Bindeshwariji wants to serve you himself”. I said, “Baba this would be difficult. Even though otherwise he is so kind to me “.

Bindeshwariji who was silent so far began to press Baba to ask me to remain there and that he would look after me well. Baba looked at me now and said, “What is the harm? Let us give Bindeshwariji a chance. He will look after you. As far as your nausea and vomiting are concerned, do not take any medicine. Take only the juice of mosambi (sweet lime) and you will be alright.”

Saying this, Baba went for His walk.

I was happy that I had to take no more medicines. But I was also afraid of my nausea and vomiting. Meanwhile Bindeshwariji returned after seeing Baba off and brought one glass of mosambi with him. As it was Baba’s order, I drank it but even then, all the time I was afraid that it might make me vomit again. The third day also Bindeshwariji gave me mosambi juice many times in the day and I had no nausea or vomiting. Now I was happy beyond measure. That day in the afternoon my fever was also down. The fourth day I was completely all right and started eating also. By this prescription of Baba this peculiarity of mine never recurred. Even when I fell ill with fever after that, my nausea and vomiting never reappeared.After I recovered from the flu on this occasion, I was very weak and I could not go to see Baba for several days. During this period one of my brother disciples came to me about ten one night when he I was still awake. He was from Jamalpur so I asked him where he had been so late in the night. He told me that he had been lucky to be with Baba on his evening walk and was returning from there. He told me that somebody started talking about me to Baba at the tiger’s grave, and Baba had said, “Nagina has ego about me in his mind, which he should give up.” I said to my brother disciple, “ Is it not natural that a disciple should feel proud of his guru, why not?” He tried to explain what Baba had said in many ways but I still could not understand. Baba had used the term ‘abhiman’, but this brother could not explain it clearly. After he left I continued to grapple with this problem mentally for two three days. When I was completely recovered, I went for Baba’s darshan at his residence and that day went to walk also with him, there at the grave I mentioned this matter of ‘abhiman’ to Baba. Baba said, “Yes, sadhakas have to give up their feelings of abhiman for the guru.” I said, “Baba, if a disciple cannot be proud of one’s guru, of whom will one feel proud? I feel very honoured that I am proud of my guru.” Baba said, “Abhiman does not mean what you are saying.” I then enquired as to what was the meaning of ‘abhiman’, which was to be given up by the disciples.

Now Baba explained the meaning of abhiman by giving examples. He said, “When a child is crawling, you must have seen that when he sees those closest to him, he starts crawling quickly towards his parents and then stops and looks at his mother or father. Why does he stop and look up at them? Now he wants that as he has come so far on his knees, the mother or father should now come forward and pick him up and put him on their lap. This stopping and looking and understanding that ‘now you will quickly pick me up in your lap’ is called abhiman in Samskrta. Although this abhiman is fully innocent yet for a disciple and devotee this is to be given up.” For the first time I caught the meaning of abhiman like this by Baba’s grace. Salutations to Baba of Infinite Glory and of Infinite Shapes and Bodies

CHAYA MURTI OR SHADOW BODY

While in Jamalpur it was my daily practice to go to Baba’s residence every evening, do pranam to Him and then accompany Him on His walks. This routine was disrupted only when I was out of Jamalpur, or was sick or if Baba cancelled His walk.One evening I accompanying Baba on His walk, but that day I felt as if Baba’s voice was somehow different. I thought for a long time about why there could be a change in Baba’s voice, but could not come up with a satisfactory explanation. I thought at first that Baba may have a cold or a bad throat, but this was not substantiated by closer observation.

Listening to His unusual voice it came to my mind that Baba was perhaps somehow not in His own body. But though I looked at him again and again.

I found not the slightest change in the colour and shape of His body. Now how could I disbelieve my own eyes? Even so I still felt some uncertainty in my mind as to whether this was the real Baba before me. I had no courage to ask Baba about this however.

When I could detect no actual change in his appearance and shape, how could I then ask Him about it? Meanwhile Baba sat on the grave in the field.

Suddenly it occurred to me to ask Baba about kaya badha, (adopting a new body), and I asked a question regarding it. That day, the whole time Baba sat on the grave, He continued to explain the theory of kaya badha.

Baba said, “Before adopting a new body the main body has to be placed somewhere safely. It is absolutely necessary to protect the real body. After that, a great saint can adopt any body, anywhere.”

Then Baba continued, “Sometimes in the interest of my disciples I had to adopt up to ten bodies in a day. When yogiis attain perfection and they still have a lot of accumulated unspent reactions to be exhausted, then they assume several bodies simultaneously to exhaust their samskaras. They give up their bodies only after this process so that they may not be required to take rebirth in another body again.”

In this context Baba also told about the adoption of new body by the great Indian philosopher and saint Shankaracharya. While explaining this theory Baba used the term ‘chaya murti’, which I did not quite follow.

When I asked about this, Baba explained that a shadow body or ‘chaya murti’ is exactly like the original body. In this case, the same person appears in the same body at more than one place. In that process, all the other bodies except the original, are called shadow bodies or “chaya murti”, and they look exactly the same as the original.

Baba explained the theory of creating the ‘chaya murti’, but I could not follow it.

Now came the time to return to the ashram. I did not ask anything more on this subject on the way back, but I was wondering whether I was with the main body or a shadow body that day.

The next day I again accompanied Baba on His walk. The feeling again haunted me that this was not Baba’s own body with me today.

This thought repeatedly arose in my mind and I could not suppress my curiosity on the subject. When Baba arrived at the grave in the field and sat down there, I asked Him “Suppose I do my pranam to your chaya murti, will this be accepted by the main body?

Will a boon or blessing given by the chaya murti be as effective as that given by the original body?”

Baba replied in the affirmative to both the questions and explained, “The shadow body has no separate entity of its own. Its existence depends on the desire and motivations of the main body. Whatever power of actions is there in it is due to the inspiration of the main body.

Therefore your pranam will reach the main body and the blessings being received by you are also on account of the inspiration from the mainbody. Therefore that blessing will also be of the main body and it would work equally well.”

Even after this I could not gather courage to ask Baba whether that day I was with the main body or with his shadow body. That day I asked no other questions on the subject.

I was again with Baba on His walk the next day, and that day I felt as if I was with Baba’s main body. I have not been able to understand to this day why and how these feelings came. Yet I felt there was no difference in his voice this day.

After reaching the tiger’s grave in the field, Baba sat down. I was overwhelmed with curiosity as to whether for the last two days I had been with Baba’s main body or shadow body and so I asked Baba, “What are the distinguishing features of the shadow body?”

To satisfy my unspoken question, Baba replied, “For the last two evenings you were with my shadow body. As far as the question of recognition is concerned it is most difficult to distinguish between the two. But one of the differences or ways to recognise the difference, is that the shadow body will never accept anything to eat under any circumstances. On great persuasion it might make as if to drink water, but it cannot do even that. Just to convince you it would take the glass of water to his lips, but instead of drinking it, he would make it evaporate. It has no internal organs, and so cannot eat or drink.”

I told Baba, “For the last two days this feeling was arising again and again in my mind that I was not with Baba’s real body.”

Baba asked, “Why?”

I said, “Both these days Your voice was somewhat different and was not natural”.

Baba looked at me and asked, “How?”

I said, “Your voice appeared to stick in the throat somehow.”

Baba said, “Yes”, and giving me a caressing slap on my cheeks, added, “Only those who know my voice very closely would be able to recognise any small difference in it. That means you recognise my real voice very well.” After this, we did not discuss this topic again.

Now and then I got some glimpse of the various powers that Baba possessed.

This would fill me with immense joy. Such glimpses would give me long hours of devotional joy that would bind me to His lotus feet all the more tightly.

Some times I would get the sense that Baba was omnipotent and controlling the entire universe from this small room in Jamalpur. Great is Baba and infinite are his powers! My only prayer is that my mind may remain ever attached to His lotus feet with ever-newer attachment.

As I am a worldly creature, I am bound to commit mistakes; therefore I again pray, that stuck in the mud of these worldly cares and anxieties, and enmeshed in maya, if ever I forget Him, He may not forget this insignificant being and may forever attract me to Himself so that the creeper of my devotion may never wither away.