Hari Hari

25th MARCH 1955

On the evening of March 25, we went for a walk as usual. But midway, Baba turned and came back to the ashram.

That day, several senior disciple brothers were in the ashram. They took Baba into His room where He took His seat.

Baba then began to call these senior disciples one by one until they were all assembled in the room and the doors were closed. Some of those in the room were already acaryas. Others were undergoing acarya-training.

Shri Pranayji however, was not there.

Outside on the veranda were the more junior disciples, like myself.

When I observed that Baba had still not come out after a long time, I thought hat He had perhaps started taking class. Taking a class could mean that Baba would be occupied for up to 2.5 hours and so I concluded He would not resume His walk that evening.

I decided to leave and Bindeshwariji and I left the ashram for home.

We must have walked only about fifty yards when someone called my name.

We stopped and when that gentleman caught us up I recognized that he was a brotherdisciple. He told me that Baba was calling me and so I returned to the ashram along with Bindeshwariji.

Baba was still talking to the senior disciples in the room and so I continued to wait on the veranda. After a long tie, a senior disciple came of of the room and the door opened, but he went back inside almost immediately pulling the door to, behind him.

As the door was a little ajar, some of the sounds from within drifted out to me. Then I heard Baba chanting, “Hari, Hari.”

Alarmed, I peeped inside the room. I saw that Baba was lying on a blanket spread on the floor chanting “Hari, Hari” surrounded by the other disciples watching Him.

I entered the room without permission because of my fear.

I rushed into the room and spoke directly to Baba, “It was only 3 days ago that You took a long samkalpa to live and now You are again doing the same thing. I beg You, please stop repeating this mantra!”

But Baba kept on repeating “Hari, Hari”.

None of the disciple brothers there had been present on March 22 and so did not understand what I was talking about and stared at me in puzzled disapproval.

“Quick brothers” I said, “everyone must take hold of Him. Start pressing Baba’s feet and body and until He takes a samkalpa again, do not to leave Him.”

Exhorting them thus, I fell at Baba’s feet and began to massage them and asked the others to do the same whilst explaining briefly what had occurred on the 22nd March.

Now their bewilderment fell away and shocked comprehension showed on their faces, just as it had come to me on the preceding occasion.

They saw that we had to intervene before Baba gave up His body. We were now all weeping and pleading to Baba to give up the idea of leaving His body. But Baba continued chanting, “Hari, Hari.”

Among the 10 disciples in the room that day were:

• respected Shri Chandranathji (my medium)
• my childhood friend and classmates Shri Vishvanathji and Bindeshwariji.
• Shivshankar Bannerjee
• Shishir Dutta
• Shivanath Bose
• Harisadhanji.

Except for Bindeshwariji, each one of us was massaging some part of Baba’s body.

Bindeshwariji overwhelmed by emotion, was sitting in one corner breathing loud and long. Every one of us was in tears and praying to Baba not to give up His body.

Totally desperate, I said to Baba, “Baba, this is cheating us. You told us that You had taken a samkalpa to remain for a long time and it was only for three days! Do not leave us in this sad and helpless condition.”

Suddenly, Baba said, “Kishanji, your work is done”.

Baba was addressing Kishanji, a disciple who was not there that day. I felt that if Baba is talking in an incoherent manner to absent people, then the end must be near.

This thought fuelled my anxiety further and weeping all the more I cried out, “Baba, what are you saying? Kishanji is not here!”

Baba only responded with “Hari, Hari.”

I was so confused and desperate at this juncture, that I asked one of the disciple brothers who was sitting pressing Baba’s temples, “Cover Baba’s mouth with your hands and stop Him chanting ‘Hari, Hari’.”

Later I was horrified with myself that I could have suggested such a thing, but then I was in a state of shock.

Then Baba addressed Vishvanathji, who was near His head, “What do you desire?”

He replied, “May you be forever in front of me, Baba!”

Baba said, “Tathastu! May it be as you wish!”, then continued chanting “Hari, Hari”.

More than 3 decades later, Acarya Vishvanathji could still, whenever and wherever he desired, see Baba and converse with Him. This is the miracle of the infinite grace and blessings of Baba.

I feel honoured that for this unique blessing, Baba selected my boyhood friend Shri Vishvanathji.

But now, in the roo with Baba, we lost all courage and were all weeping bitterly still clutching hold of Him.

Then Baba seemed moved by compassion by our pitiable condition and said, “All right, get me seated, I shall take a samkalpa again.” We all cried out in relief and we supported and lifted Him up as Hesat in the lotus posture.

Then He asked us to leave the room.

I protested, “Baba, 3 nights ago, you allowed us to remain in the room with You. Why are You asking us to leave the room today?”

Baba said, “Nagina’ it will be proper that all of you go out.”

Thereafter, on Baba’s instructions and assurance, we all want out and closed the door. We all come to the inner veranda and began anxiously to wait for Baba to call us back in the room.

For sometime we waited patiently but as time passed, we began to worry. I told a senior disciple brother that delay could be dangerous and so he should seek Baba’s permission so that we may enter the room.

He called from outside, “Baba - may we come in?”

Baba said in a very solemn and clear voice, “Do not disturb me. I am taking a long samkalpa”.

From the very sound of His voice, we could understand that Baba was now perfectly healthy and we settled down to wait more easy in our minds, After sometime Baba called us in. He was still sitting in padmasana and He held His right foot with both His hands and said. “All is well, all is well.”

It was a mystery to me what Baba was doing and meant by this, and to whom He was speaking. It remains a mystery to this day.

After sitting with us for some tie in the ashram, He left for His residence with one of the senior disciple brothers. We followed Him for some distance and observedthat again His pace was very slow, until at about 10 p.m. we went our different ways silently. We did not feel like talking to each other.

The next day I met some of my senior brother disciples and I asked them. “Why is Baba doing this again and again?” Pranayji said, “Baba has exhausted all His samskaras, and therefore He now does not want to retain this body.” I said, “I have heard that the exhausting of all the samskaras is salvation, but I have never before heard that the finishing of samskaras means death.

Can you explain this to me?

He explained, “After the samskaras are finished, this is certainly the state of liberation, but for the welfare of the people of this world, liberated beings take a samkalpa, or a determination, to remain in the world.

This samkalpa becomes the new samskara which enables them to retain this body for the service and well being of the world.

Unless such a samkalpa is taken there will be no reason to retain the body, and death is a certainty. Therefore on March 22nd Baba took a samkalpa but it was for 3 days only.

That shows that until yesterday Baba was undecided whether to keep His body or not. Even now we cannot say for how many days more Baba has taken this new samkalpa.”

Although He had said that He was taking a long samkalpa my mind was already apprehensive at the thought of the previous day’s event. This explanation made me even more worried. On March 22nd Baba had said that He was taking a long samkalpa but it proved to be only of three days.

This time also Baba said that He was taking a long samkalpa, but on the basis of the previous experience it could not be said whether this was indeed a long time by our reckoning. Everyone who learnt of this incident became sad and anxious.

The next day I went as usual to Baba’s residence and did my pranam and went for a walk with Him. Several times it came to my mind to ask Baba about the length of the samkalpa, but I had no courage to start a conversation on this topic. Baba was still walking slowly this day, but He kept to His regular routine was as usual after this event and continued to go for His regular evening walks.

One evening soon afterwards this incident of 25th March, as we sat on the tiger’s grave, Baba said, “now my mind no longer feels at home on this planet”.

Not quite understanding this, I sat looking into His face awaiting some explanation.

“There is no ‘nirman citta’ person on the planet any more”, He said, “so I no longer enjoy myself here”.

Baba had become very serious, and I knew that He meant what He said about not wishing to continue living on this planet. He still wanted to give up His body. It saddened me that He kept coming back to that subject. But to maintain the conversation, I said, “Baba, what is ‘nirman citta’ person?”

“After intense meditation, when sadhakas attain the final goal of sadhana – absolute perfection – if they have also exhausted all their samskaras, they continue tolive on the planet with the same bodies, or they obtain new bodies in order to serve creation. The samkalpa to serve creation for a fixed period of time becomes a new samskara for them. They stay on the planet for that fixed time and then depart. Such perfected beings are called ‘nirman citta’”.

“Baba do these perfected beings also need to do sadhana?”

“They do not need to do sadhana, but they do so for two reasons: to enjoy bliss, and to impress upon their disciples that they must do sadhana under all circumstances.”

I shivered in my heart again, lest Baba leave us too.

MARCH 28, 1955

On March 28, as Baba and I were crossing the wide bridge over the railway line on the way to the field.

Baba said, “Nagina, if I do not keep my body, get ‘Ananda Marga Elementary Philosop[hy’ translated into Maithili by a native speaker of the language.

Mithila badly needs the philosophy and it is an appropriate place for Tantra sadhana. In the past, Tantra sadhana used to be very popular there, but today the practitioners are widely scattered. I desire that Mithila should regain its proper status in this regard”.

Baba said no more, but His words, ‘I I do not keep my body’, created heart-breaking confusion in my mind. Again I wondered if His samkalpa of March 25th had also been for a short time.

The darkness of gloomy fears surrounded my mind. I felt like asking Baba about it again, but the thought of His leaving the body was so painful that I dared not reinforce it in His mind by bringing it up, so I decided to hold my tongue.