DMC IN JAMALPUR JANUARY 1955

On 9 January, the day of the Dharma Maha Cakra, I reached Jamalpur along with my wife.

That day for the first time I learnt gurupuja, its method and its mantra in the ashram. That day I also saw some notices hanged on the wall, like “smoking prohibited.” I told the manager of the Ashram that he was put up this only after making me a martyr.

Had it been done earlier, I would have been saved from the punishment.

On another plate the following was written, ‘Shive Rusta Gurustrata - Guro Rushto in Kashtana’, that is, ‘If God is angry, Guru will protect, but if Guru is angry, there is no one to protect’. After reading this I mentally bowed before Baba.

When we were alone the manager of the ashram told me that on the evening of 5 January it was time for Baba to give up His body, but He had skipped over this period by going into samadhi. I had been feeling sad that I had interrupted Baba!

He had been explaining the philosophy of Ananda Marga and I said that it was not so easya path as its name indicated. It was after I had said this that Baba had immediately gone into samadhi.

In the evening Baba came to the ashram and sat in the room. There we did guru puja in small groups.

As we were finishing gurupuja, Baba gave me much affection. Baba’s affection was so wonderful. I felt that even if a hundred loving mothers were to assemble and pour their affection simultaneously on a child, even that affection would remain inferior to what Baba gave me.

These are His ways of love.

After gurupuja, Baba sat on a platform in the inner verandah and the disciples sat in the courtyard. In that DMC, the subject of Baba’s discourse was ‘The Prakrti Tattva and Omkar Tattva’ (The Creative Principle and the Primordial Sound).

Baba’s discourse was clear and sweet, understandable and full of subtle meaning. Everyone was listening intently to Baba’s talk. At the time of DMC Baba looked very divine and attractive.

One did not like to miss the sight of His great personality for even a moment.

After the discourse was over Baba gave a demonstration of Omkar Tattva and said ‘Everyone will hear this sound according to the stage of their sadhana. We all sat attentively and later on checked from each other and found that everyone had heard the sound in some form or the other.

After the discourse and the demonstration Baba blessed the gathering: “Those who are present in this Dharma Maha Cakra either in physical body or subtle body will not be required to be born again”. All of us were overjoyed to hear this blessing and began to cry, “Baba Ki Jai”.

Everyone was in ecstasy. After the DMC there was a collective meal. On 10 January I returned to Begusarai along with my wife.

I TAKE EXTENDED LEAVE AND RETURN TO JAMALPUR

Now it was no use for me to stay at Begusarai. I did not like my new posting. I therefore decided to go on long leave. On giving some thought as to where I should stay during my leave, first the idea came that I should go to my native village along with my family, but this idea did not click. I did not want to go far from Baba.

Again and again my mind was being drawn to, His feet. I would become sad at even the thought of being at a distance away from Him. My mind was like that proverbial bird on a ship which after all its flights in the sky again and again returns to the ship itself. Jamalpur and Baba had such attraction for me that my mind refused to rest anywhere else.

I remember these famous lines of the great poet Surdas in this context:

‘Mero man aat kaham sukh pave jaise uri jahaj ko panchhi puni jahaj pai ave’. (‘The condition of my mind is just like a bird in the ocean. The bird has no alternative but to come again and again to the ship’).

Finally I decided to spend the period of my leave in Jamalpur at the feet of Rev. Baba. Thus decided, the very next day along with my family and bag and baggage I sent them to the village home, and myself came back to Jamalpur. I sent for leave for a couple of months and began to stay with Bindeshwariji.

After a day or two I requested Baba for permission to go to His residence every evening, do pranam to Him and go for a walk with Him. At this Baba said ‘You will be put in trouble and I shall be moved with pity.’

I said ‘This will be a big fortunate thing for me, where is the question of trouble? And as long as I am in Jamalpur I shall not come to you requesting for pity. I just want to be with you - otherwise what attraction hasJamalpur for to.’ Baba kindly acceded to my request. Now every evening I started going to His residence and after Pranam would go for a walk with Him.

Thus every day, about three hours I had the good fortune to be with Baba.

One day while sitting alone in Jamalpur, as I was ruminating on the sequence of events, I realised that in September Baba had said that I would not be demoted unless I willed it though He had tried to persuade me otherwise and accept the flow of events in my stride. But at that time I was adamant that I should not face demotion.

In the end Baba had granted that I would get demotion only when I wanted it, and I was also happy at this.

I REALISE THAT ALL HAS BEEN DONE BY BABA’S WILL

Time passed and I had almost forgotten that I had the boon of getting demoted only when I willed it. Then after so many days on 25 December ‘54, Baba became so angry on account of my smoking inside the ashram at Jamalpur. He was so angry that day that He even did not like to accept my pranam.

That evening when I returned from Baba and was sitting lonely and depressed mentally offering all my near and dear things to His one by one and insisting that He may accept all of them and give me back His kind smile. After offering all these things I also offered my post and position in the end of the chain of these offerings.

As I finished this mental offering, Bindeshwariji’s elder brother had entered the room and enquired about the time. I had looked at my watch and informed him that it was five in the evening. I, therefore, recalled quite clearly that the last offering was made at 5 p.m.

That day Baba’s evening darshan was in the quarter. While returning from the quarter I asked Baba what had I done to incur His displeasure? And Baba replied ‘I am not displeased with you since 5 p.m. At that time in the house I was not normal. Thereafter on the evening of the 26th December 1954, I was given the punishment of which I have already written.

As far as I came to know later, my reversion order started from Delhi on the 27th December 1954. It was issued from Patna on the 31st December 1954 and I received it at Begusarai on the 3rd January 1955. The government had decided to demote me in September 1954 and it was recorded on the file also.

But Baba had said after this decision of the government that I would get demotion at my will and hence the gap. Where this order was lying from September up to December end, Baba alone knows. I got it only when mentally I had offered my post and position to Him.

Now the question arises, did I indeed decide this of my own free will? This question is difficult to answer.

Perhaps circumstances so conspired that I had to will my own demotion. Here I recollect the following line of poet Vidyapati, “It is my misfortune, no-one else is at fault”. I find this is applicable here. I got a new realisation that Baba is equally the softest and the hardest at the same time. Anyway this gave me an opportunity to be close to Him.