The Rejection Of My Second Appeal
Table of Contents
Doing these days my second appeal was rejected in April so I felt very sad.
So I wrote to Baba asking whether the samskaras were so strong that guru and God were both helpless before their power.
Why do people forget the guru and God and give more importance to karma and samskaras?
Baba replied:
Samskaras cannot be stronger than Cosmic Consciousness. When unit consciousness start its march towards the Supreme Self – the Cosmic Consciousness, it advances through fight against avidya and bhoga of its prarabdha. Its march is the march of a solider undaunted and unbaffled. It gets the final rest when crowned with victory – the feeling of oneness with Him, earned by the heroic spirit both in the inner and outer, spheres of life “ Anandamurti 27.4.56
After reading Baba’s letter I again became active and optimistic and became involved in my job and in my work of the Marga. A few days after the receipt of this letter, Baba’s Ananda Vanii for the Ananda Purnima of 1956 also came which said:
Every sadhaka (aspirant) is a soldier. The symbols of their progress are the hurts received from thorns by the march on the difficult path. Their victory is the collective welfare of the world.
Anandamurti Ananda Purnima 1956
By the middle of 1956, immorality was on the increase, hence this message of Baba’s not only encouraged sadhakas to lead a moral life, but also gave them strength to fight immorality. Baba’s message was timely.
My Posting To Dalmianagar
After a few days, my contacts with Margii brothers became less and less. I was transferred to Dalmianagar in the first week of June.
There the problems were so constant that I was busy in tackling them.
In this new place, my wife’s health deteriorated further. Now and then, I had to rush to Patna with her. I had informed Baba about this through a letter.
His message said that I have to correct the whole situation from that place.
I said I would not take any decisive step so long as the department does not fix a definite policy for Dalmianagar.
It was under the jurisdiction of the Superintendent at Gaya who was very simple Margii and was very scared of the atmosphere at Dalmianagar.
Officers of my department regarded Dalmianagar as a black hole in those days, which would darken my reputation.
Anyway, keeping Baba foremost in my thoughts, I started my work. Meanwhile, our department head thought of visiting the city on tour, and he gave me five minutes to discuss the situation of Dalmianagar at a meeting at eight in the morning. I reached the Circuit House of Gaya at the appointed time.
We were discussing matters in English I have therefore recorded his words as such. He told me that at one time, he had also been initiated into Ananda Marga but be could not do sadhana properly.
I advised him to meet has acarya again After his return from Gaya, whenever my departmental head would see a report from some senior officer, he would ask what is the report on Nagina on this subject? And after seeing my views, he would reject others and agree with me.
Now I was asked to attend a conference connected with Dalmianagar, on behalf of my department. Everyone was wondering as to what Nagina has done to him in these five hours that he would reject every ones’ views and accent mine. Just within a few months of our meeting, this gentlemen sought retirement. I was all along feeling that Baba was helping me at every step and where my intellect failed he gave me new ideas was it not the grace of Baba that I could continue discussion with this temperamental and snobbish man for five hours.
My days continued to pass in this manner so I tried to solve the departmental problems there. Meanwhile my economic condition continued to deteriorate due to the illness of my wife.
I had no other recourse except to inform Baba about my personal problems. Baba’s letter was as follows:
“Dear Nagina, The reason of your mental agonies and family trouble is that you are careless in money matters. You should therefore give more stress to aparigraha. Think a thousand times before you spend a single pie”.
With my love to you Your well-wisher Anandamurti 24-8-56
I was very much worried to read Baba’s letter was true to the last syllable. But would it be possible for me to follow the spirit of these instructions?