MY DEMOTION

My former boss, Ajit Singh, was attempting to get me demoted and himself promoted once more by writing to government officials in Delhi.

He was of the firm conviction that his demotion was due to me, although this was far from true. He did not succeed in getting promoted; but he did succeed in getting me demoted. I received information in September 1954 that orders of my demotion had been passed in Delhi although formal orders were yet to be issued.

I have always been attached to the prestige of my status. I therefore felt restless to save my prestige. I was not able to get leave and go to Baba, therefore I wrote a letter about my problems to Baba. I also wrote in the letter that I would prefer death to demotion and was least prepared to face a downfall in my rank.

When Baba received my letter He sent my relative and long-time friend Bindeshwariji, who was also a recent initiate, to find me in Begusarai. At the time however, I was in Khagaria for some work, but Bindeshwariji searched for me and found me there. He delivered Baba’s message to me and immediately returned to Jamalpur.

Baba’s instructions were, “He was given two mantras. He makes use of one, but not the other at all. He should be told to use the other one also and so the order of demotion will not move further”.

At this I immediately remembered the other mantra and began to follow the instructions in this regard. Meanwhile I also got leave and reached Baba’s lotus feet in Jamalpur.

At first Baba scolded me on my writing about my death. “You consider death to be a plaything”. Then He explained how promotion and demotion are part of a service career and one should not be perturbed at these. He also told that attachment to the status of a post is wrong. He advised me that it would be in my interest to accept the demotion that was coming. I was not at all ready to accept this situation. I enquired also what wrong I had done to deserve this punishment. Baba said ‘I know that you have done nothing in this life to suffer a demotion in status. However this is a samskara of your past life and it would be best to suffer it. Even so, I was not ready to accept it. Baba then began to coax me in the same manner as parents do when a child begins to insist on something and during this process Baba said, “All right Nagina - let this be; that demotion will come when you want it”. I thought over Baba’s words for sometime and then it came to my mind that everyone in this world wants to rise. No one ever wants demotion. Baba is leaving me with the option of my own demotion - which is it shall come when I want it and will not come in case I do not want it. Therefore why should I think of demotion at all? I thought that it was a good boon and why should I not accept it. I told Baba, “I am ready for it”. Baba immediately said, “Let it be so”.I felt happy and went for a walk with Baba that evening. Salutations to Baba the Great Protector of Protectors! MAINJU IS BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD My residence in Begusarai was in a lane. One had to go about twenty-five yards from the main road, before one reached my second story residence. After about a month, on a holiday, after getting ready, I walked down my stairs and came to the lane and walked a little to go to Baba - when I suddenly heard the cry of a child. When I turned back I saw that my domestic servant was trying to console my little daughter Mainju in his lap. She had started crawling at that time. I turned back and enquired what had happened, and was told that I had forgotten to close the small gate at the top of the stairs. Mainju had been silently following me on her knees and when she tried to follow me onto the stairs, she toppled and fell down about ten or twelve steps into the lane. Although she was not seriously injured she was shocked by the fall. It took time before she stopped crying and meanwhile I missed the train. The next train left in the afternoon and I took that one to reach Jamalpur. In the evening when I reached Baba’s place, I did my pranam and accompanied Him on His walk. On the way, Baba said, “I expected you here in the morning”. I replied “Yes Baba, I started to take the 10 a.m. train, but as my young daughter fell, I missed that train and hence came here by the next train. Baba was somewhat pained to her about the fall of my little daughter and expressed His sympathy by uttering “Ch, ch, ch”. I happened to say, “Baba this girl should have been born in the palace of some king. She is so adamant even at this little age and dislikes any interference in her actions. If somehow by love she is prevented from doing what she likes, her face reddens and she faints.” Making myself more explicit I related an incident when she was moving towards a drain on her knees. The servant stopped her and took her on his lap with great affection. At this she became so excited she turned red and fainted. The doctor who saw her also could not help. Now they say that she will be all right automatically when she grows up. Baba listened to me and said, “They are fools. If this continues for some time she will suffer permanent brain damaged and remain an idiot for the rest of her life”. I prayed to Baba, “If it were a boy he could some how be handled even after becoming brain damaged, but for a girl it will be unmanageable for us”. Baba said, “Don’t worry, give her vyapak shaoca (a hip-bath) regularly. In three days she will be temporarily cured and in thirty days she will be permanently cured”. Baba was extremely kind and also explained the method of vyapak shaoca. Then He enquired whether any of my children had previously died. I said “No” and He replied “All right”. I returned home happy. We needed a small tub for the kind of bath that was prescribed. I was in search for one so that she could conveniently be bathed for thirty days, but unfortunately no such thing was available in the local market. In this search one month passed. One day my wife and myself were talking that one month had passed and we had not been able to arrange the tub to give Mainju her baths as per Baba’s instructions. I again showed my helplessness about getting a tub and did not know what to do. By Baba’s gracefrom the day her ailment was mentioned to Baba, she had had no fainting. I told my wife, that Mainju has been alright from the time her trouble was mentioned before Baba. Our duty only is to take things to Baba. He does the rest Himself. In the meanwhile the arrival of my senior officer further delayed the acquisition of the tub and the bath for the baby. Next day I went to the station to see off my officer. The train was late, therefore by the time I returned from the station. It was nearly noon. I therefore decided to go home, have lunch and return to office. So I came straight home from the station. As I approached my house I saw that many of my junior officers were standing on the balcony of my house. I was wondering why they were there. They saw me approaching from the lane. One of them rushed to me and informed me that Mainju was dead. I scolded him for this and remembered that Baba had said only a few days back that I was not destined to suffer the loss of any of my children. How could this then happen? Thinking on these lines and remembering Baba, I rushed towards my house. Everyone including the doctor was in the sitting room. As soon as I stepped into the sitting room I enquired where was Mainju. The doctor and the assembled people pointed to the dining table, where Mainju was lying with her face covered, as she had been declared dead by the doctors. I reached the table and to everyones surprise, Mainju uncovered her face herself and leaped towards me calling me “Baba” in Bengali. Remembering Baba all the time I took her in my lap. She was about one at that time. The doctors were totally amazed. They immediately jotted down a prescription and sent one of my office men to purchase the medicines. Meanwhile, my domestic assistant informed me that my wife was lying unconscious in another room, from the shock. I took Mainju in my lap and went near my wife and brought her to senses by sprinkling some water on her face. As soon as she revived she lifted Mainju up in her arms. I bade farewell to the doctors after paying their fees. Everyone present there was happily surprised by seeing that a child declared dead by two doctors was up and healthy again and all began to praise the grace of Baba. I was feeling extremely happy remembering the death destroying Grace of Baba in my mind. I was numb with overpowering feelings of devotion for Baba. I thought, “How kind Baba is. He removes the troubles of his devotees, before they strike them”. I had no words to express Baba’s grace. I surrendered myself completely in words, thoughts and deeds to Baba and prayed that I might sing His praise all my life. I hope Baba will grant me this. After the commotion had setteld, we had out lunch. I told my wife that Baba has only given a warning to us, but if we don’t apply the treatment shown by Him, there would certainly be a chance for calamity in future. While thus talking we saw the maid taking the cleaned utensils inside the house. Amongst them was one utensil of brass which had no handle and was like a tub. I suggested that Mainju could sit in this and be bathed. If the edge will pain her outstretched legs we will put a towel on the edge to protect her. My wife agreed with my suggestion. From that day on we bathed Mainju as per Baba’s instructions, in that utensil. We did not use the doctor’s medicines. By Baba’s Grace Mainju never got that kind of fit against after this. After this incident, my wife also insisted on being initiated. How can I bring within the fold of language the description of his compassion? Hie whose description the Vedas failed to achieve and finally came to the statements of ‘Not this, not this!’

I can only silently say that Baba is extremely compassionate and He showers Hisblessings equally on His disciples as well as those who are not. He is ever ready to take them under His shelter. When I visited Baba’s place next, I requested for my wife’s initiation and Baba was kind enough to agree. When I was walking with Baba I asked that this sadhana is so good, why should it be given on the basis of pick and choose. Kindly make it available to all.

MY WIFE TAKES INITIATION FROM BABA

Baba said, ”Diiksa (initiation) and sadhana are given only after seeing the samskaras (karma) of the individual, but as you are insistent, let me know the names and addresses of those who are the seekers of Eternal Knowledge. I shall permit them on the basis of samskaras”. Really, after seeing the change in me which came after the initiation, a large number of people were thinking of taking initiation. Some of them were officers in my department and some were mere acquaintances. When I was asking for permission to go and asked whether I could bring my wife for initiation next Sunday, Baba said, “Yes you may, but do not bring any small child with her.” I said, ”My youngest child could not be left at home”. Baba replied, “The kundalinii of children below five is in a fluid state and it gets aggravated by my contact and causes them pain”. Therefore, when we came next time the young girl was with us but we tried to lull her to sleep before going to Baba and by Baba’s Grace she did go to sleep. After this, we handed her over to Bindeshwariji and I took my wife to Baba for initiation. Only when we returned after my wife’s initiation did my daughter wake up. It was His Grace that until we returned she remained asleep. This was the same girl who was declared dead some days ago by the doctors. This time I also brought a list of those who were desirous of taking initiation and I submitted that list to Baba. Baba thought for a moment and allowed some of them and some names of the list were not allowed. Along with this for each person the date and time of initiation was also fixed. I informed the people about the date and time and gave their addresses to Bindeshwariji, who took them to Baba’s lotus feet at the appointed time. I had already requested Bindeshwariji to take these persons to Baba and he agreed readily. This process of submitting lists continued up to December 1954. Personal contact was the only medium for spreading the mission and Baba’s ideals. Any reference to guru was forbidden. Baba said, “The motivation inculcated by reference to the guru will not be permanent. Guru will not live forever, and when the physical form will be no more, your efforts will come to a halt. Therefore, always propagate the ideal”. Following His instructions we were always talking about the ideals and spreading it through personal contact. Up to that time Ananda Marga had not come into existence - nor was there any book containing a philosophy or code of conduct. Whatever we heard from Baba was our philosophy and code of conduct, and we were taking only its help for our propagation of the philosophy and practice Baba had given.