BABA THE PHYSICIAN

It was the winter of 1953-54 and the weather was bitterly chilly.

Baba was kind enough to allow me to go for a walk with Him and as usual we came back in the field and seated ourselves on the grave. I was sitting by the side of Baba.

Two more sadhaka brothers were there, whose names I do not remember now. Mostly Baba used to sit there for a long time, but that day it so happened that Baba started to walk back by quarter-to-nine. He said, “Let us go, Nagina has a cough!” Baba asked me “Have you brought your muffler?” I replied in the negative, and Baba said, “You must use a muffler during winters”

I said, “During winters I generally get a sore throat. It will be alright by itself”. But Baba said, “This is due to liver trouble that you get the cough. Put hot water in a half cup full of orange juice, so that the juice and water become warm. Drink it just before going to sleep. Remember this will be your last drink before sleeping. You will eat or drink nothing thereafter. You will be normal within a few days.” On returning home, I followed Baba’s advice, and the cough that used to invade me every winter bade farewell to me forever. I was overwhelmed by this kindness of Baba and considered myself fortunate that I had surrendered my self to Him.

BABA TREATS ALL EQUALLY – THE INNER OFFERING

After some time, I was again fortunate to go one Sunday to Jamalpur for Baba’s darshan. As I reached Jamalpur, I met a senior disciple of Baba. He asked me whether I had come for Baba’s darshan and informed me that he was just returning from Baba’s house. He told me that Baba was going out to meet someone at four in the afternoon. He therefore advised me to go immediately to Baba or it would not possible to see Baba without having to stay over to the next day. It was winter, and I did not have warm clothing, so, I knew I could not stay overnight, and I resolved to have darshan that very day. At that time I was wearing pant, shirt and coat. I felt odd, because I had always visited Baba in Indian clothes of dhoti and kurta. My disciple brother felt irritated as we were short of time and asked me what was wrong in going to Him in those clothes. On his insistence, I went to Baba in the same clothes, and he accompanied me, but he said that he already had Baba’s darshan and therefore, he would stay outside. I wanted to go via the railway station market, so that I could buy some fruits for Baba. He enquired why I wanted to go via the station, as it was a longer route. I replied that I wanted to buy fruits for Baba. My friend asked me to stop the car, and he got out of it in hurry. He said, “If you have to take fruits for Baba, then go alone. But know well, that if you are turned out today, never again will you be allowed to enter there.“I was perplexed, but anyhow I dropped the idea of purchasing fruit. Then at my request, my friend again got in the car, and we went together to Baba’s house. He remained in the car outside, and I went into Baba’s drawing room for His darshan. Baba came, and I touched His feet, I immediately felt immensely peaceful and satisfied. After some talk on my meditation I asked Baba, “Baba today, before coming here I wanted to buy some fruits for you, but the sadhaka brother stopped me and said that you would not like it, and would prohibit me coming to your house again. Baba, it is our tradition that one does not go empty handed before one’s guru, God and the king. If nothing else, one should take some green leaves, flowers or fresh water.” Baba listened to me with a smile, and in very loving words said, “Your sadhaka brother is perfectly right. I have asked all my disciples not to bring anything for me, whether fruits or anything else. It is true that in the olden days, the guru wanted the disciple to offer him fruit. But which fruit? The guru used to tell the disciples that whenever you come to me offer me the fruits of all your actions. The disciples acted accordingly. But in the course of time the guru’s lost their greatness and gradually instead of ‘karma fruit’ - they began to accept big sweet and juicy fruits. Now this has become customary. You are also free to offer the fruits of your actions whenever you like”. Baba then added, “Some of your sadhaka brothers are not well off economically. If I accept fruits offered by you, your poverty-stricken brothers will also make an attempt to do so. Certainly this will put them into difficulty and they will cut their necessities in every way to bring a few fruits for me. If I do not accept their fruits, this will mean discrimination between disciples, and if knowing fully well their economic difficulties I accept the fruits, this would amount to blood-sucking. Would you like Baba to discriminate between His disciples?” I was unable to reply. There was nothing I could say. Baba went on, “Nagina, what can a disciple offer his guru? He should really ask from Him whatever he desires!” I told Baba, “Sometimes when I see good things, I feel that I should bring that thing for You. What should I do in such a situation?” Baba replied, “In that case, you should offer me that thing then and there. I shall have received it and then you can take it by way of prasad”. I was so much lost in conversation with Baba that I could not refer to anything about my fear complex. Afterwards also I had Baba’s darshan, but unfortunately I always forgot to mention this to Baba. This tendency of fear is still with me in some form or the other. Baba alone knows when He will free me from this. At this time, I had, against my will, to appear before Baba in western clothes of trousers and shirt, and as long as I was at His feet I felt somewhat embarrassed due to this. When I bowed at His lotus feet to permit me to go. Baba blessed me and then asked. “You also have to put on these clothes?” I told Baba that I had to dress like that for the office, and Baba said, “You are doing the right thing. You should always protect your sattvaguna (sentient qualities) with the shield of rajoguna (mutative qualities); otherwise people will not allow you to be a sattvaguni (upholder of sentience).”In continuation of this Baba said. “A disciple should always come to the guru like an innocent child. Suppose you have a child at home, and you are beautifully dressed to go out somewhere and that child comes all in dust and wants to sit on your lap and becomes restless for it. That child does not know that he would spoil the clothes of his father. But as a father, you pick up the child and take him on your lap without a thought about your clothes becoming dirty. In the same way a disciple should come to his guru”. These teachings of Baba inspired me to come still closer to Him. As a consequence whenever I go to Baba I always do so like a child. Baba’s teachings had a profound impact on my heart and I adopted His teachings and again bowed at His Lotus Feet very humbly requesting Him to give me so much of self-confidence that I might follow the path shown by Him without ever getting tired. So far He has supported me at every step. I pray that it may continue like this forever. THE DEFEAT OF AN ENEMY AND BABA’S LESSON ON THE ENEMY WITHIN My confrontations with Ajit Singh in the department continued to increase instead of abating. Since I had refused to pay the monthly sums he extorted from his subordinates, I had become a special target of his animosity. However I always kept Baba in my heart and returned the compliment of his dislike in like manner. In the meanwhile in January 1954, the government demoted him due to some of his past misdeeds. He had not, it seems, got away with his illicit practices after all. It was known that he had availed himself of the opportunities afforded a government inspector and profited greatly on bribes from business. Charges of corruption had followed him to Bhagalpur from his previous posting. The outcome of the investigation was his removal from Bhagalpur to an inferior position at Palanpur in the Punjab. I had nothing to do with all of that, but he believed otherwise, as I found out much later. Because he held me partly responsible for his setback, he took a leave of absence before reporting to Palanpur and went to Delhi in order to apply all his effort and influence to secure my own demotion. However, I knew nothing of all this, at the time that I learned about his downfall. All I knew then was that his conduct had finally caught up with him. Although, he tried to keep this news secret from me, still somehow I came to know of it. I felt happy at his downfall and threw a party for some of my friends to celebrate. I thoroughly enjoyed the news of his misfortune and laughed heartily about it. About this time, Chandranathji was going home on leave and as Jamalpur was on the way, he detrained there for a day or two for Baba’s darshan. Baba said to him, “These days Nagina is suffering from mean mentality. Tell him not to give quarter to such feelings in his mind.” As Chandranathji was not returning to Bhagalpur, he communicated Baba’s instructions to me through a letter. I sought over and over in my mind as to when I had harboured such feelings, but could not locate the answer within. I therefore, took some time off and went to Baba.When I mentioned Chandranathji’s letter to Baba, He said, “Yes! Chandranath is right. It is your duty to fight your enemy for self-protection, but to celebrate his defeat is the sign of mean mentality.” I said, “Baba, is it not but natural to feel happy at the defeat of an adversary, so how is it mean?” Baba replied, ”Enmity is not with a person. Enmity is with the person’s conduct. Therefore to feel happy at the defeat of a person is mean.” Baba’s teachings made a great impression on my mind and I found in them the heighest of ideals and generosity of spirit. Now my contaminated and mean mind began to repent and feel remorse. I saw that I had behaved very badly and unbecomingly with respect to Ajit Singh and his demotion and had also earned a rebuke from Baba. But I felt a little relieved thinking of Baba’s teachings. I prostrated myself at Baba’s feet and returned to Bhagalpur. It took sometime to wipe out this burden of guilt from my mind. But by Baba’s infinite grace I was able to get free from this mental agony ultimately.