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It was the winter of 1953-54 and the weather was bitterly chilly.
Baba allowed me to go for a walk with Him and as usual.
Mostly Baba used to sit on the grave for a long time. But that day, Baba started to walk back by quarter-to-nine.
Let us go, Nagina has a cough!
Nagina, have you brought your muffler? You must use a muffler during winters
You have a cough due to liver trouble. Put hot water in a half cup full of orange juice, so that the juice and water become warm.
Drink it just before going to sleep. Remember this will be your last drink before sleeping. You will eat or drink nothing thereafter. You will be normal within a few days.
On returning home, I followed Baba’s advice. The cough disappeared forever.
Baba Treats All Equally – The Inner Offering
After some time, I was again fortunate to go one Sunday to Jamalpur for Baba’s darshan.
It was winter, and I did not have warm clothing, so, I knew I could not stay overnight. I resolved to have darshan that very day.
At that time I was wearing pants, shirt and coat. I felt odd, because I had always visited Baba in Indian clothes of dhoti and kurta.
My disciple brother felt irritated as we were short of time and asked me what was wrong in going to Him in those clothes.
On his insistence, I went to Baba in the same clothes, and he accompanied me, but he said that he already had Baba’s darshan and therefore, he would stay outside.
I wanted to go via the railway station market, so that I could buy some fruits for Baba. He enquired why I wanted to go via the station, as it was a longer route.
I replied that I wanted to buy fruits for Baba. My friend asked me to stop the car, and he got out of it in hurry.
I was perplexed, but anyhow I dropped the idea of purchasing fruit.
Then at my request, my friend again got in the car, and we went together to Baba’s house. He remained in the car outside, and I went into Baba’s drawing room for His darshan.
Baba came, and I touched His feet, I immediately felt immensely peaceful and satisfied.
After some talk on my meditation I asked Baba:
Baba today, before coming here I wanted to buy some fruits for you, but the sadhaka brother stopped me and said that you would not like it, and would prohibit me coming to your house again.
Baba, it is our tradition that one does not go empty handed before one’s guru, God and the king. If nothing else, one should take some green leaves, flowers or fresh water.
Baba listened to me with a smile, and in very loving words said:
Your sadhaka brother is perfectly right. I have asked all my disciples not to bring anything for me, whether fruits or anything else.
It is true that in the olden days, the guru wanted the disciple to offer him fruit. But which fruit? The guru used to tell the disciples that whenever you come to me offer me the fruits of all your actions.
The disciples acted accordingly. But in the course of time the gurus lost their greatness and gradually instead of ‘karma fruit’ - they began to accept big sweet and juicy fruits.
This has become customary. You are also free to offer the fruits of your actions whenever you like.
Some of your sadhaka brothers are not well off economically. If I accept fruits offered by you, your poverty-stricken brothers will also make an attempt to do so.
Certainly this will put them into difficulty and they will cut their necessities in every way to bring a few fruits for me. If I do not accept their fruits, this will mean discrimination between disciples.
If I accept the fruits, knowing fully well their economic difficulties, this would amount to blood-sucking. Would you like Baba to discriminate between His disciples?
I was unable to reply. There was nothing I could say.
I was so much lost in conversation with Baba that I could not refer to anything about my fear complex.
Afterwards, I had Baba’s darshan, but unfortunately I always forgot to mention this to Baba. This tendency of fear is still with me in some form or the other. Baba alone knows when He will free me from this.
At this time, I had, against my will, to appear before Baba in western clothes of trousers and shirt, and as long as I was at His feet I felt somewhat embarrassed due to this.
When I bowed at His lotus feet to permit me to go. Baba blessed me and then asked:
I told Baba that I had to dress like that for the office, and Baba said:
You are doing the right thing. You should always protect your sattvaguna (sentient qualities) with the shield of rajoguna (mutative qualities); otherwise people will not allow you to be a sattvaguni (upholder of sentience).
A disciple should always come to the guru like an innocent child.
Suppose you have a child at home, and you are beautifully dressed to go out somewhere and that child comes all in dust and wants to sit on your lap and becomes restless for it. That child does not know that he would spoil the clothes of his father.
But as a father, you pick up the child and take him on your lap without a thought about your clothes becoming dirty. In the same way a disciple should come to his guru.
These teachings of Baba inspired me to come still closer to Him.
As a consequence whenever I go to Baba I always do so like a child.
Baba’s teachings had a profound impact on my heart and I adopted His teachings and again bowed at His Lotus Feet very humbly requesting Him to give me so much of self-confidence that I might follow the path shown by Him without ever getting tired. So far He has supported me at every step.
I pray that it may continue like this forever.
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