Advice to Householders

Friday, June 15, 1883

It was a holiday on account of the Hindu religious festival Dasahara. Among the devotees who visited Sri Ramakrishna at Dakshineswar that day were Adhar, M., and Rākhāl ’s father. Rākhāl ’s father’s father-in-law was also present. All were seated on the floor of the Master’s room.

Advice to householders

Rākhāl ’s father’s father-in-law was a devotee of God. He asked the Master, “Sir, can one realize God while leading the life of a householder?”

MASTER (with a smile): “Why not? Live in the world like a mudfish. The mudfish lives in the mud but itself remains unstained. Or live in the world like a loose woman. She attends to her household duties, but her mind is always on her sweetheart. Do your duties in the world, fixing your mind on God.

But this is extremely difficult. I said to the members of the Brahmo Samaj: ‘Suppose a typhoid patient is kept in a room where there are jars of pickles and pitchers of water. How can you expect the patient to recover? The very thought of spiced pickles brings water to one’s mouth.’ To a man, woman is like that pickle. The craving for worldly things, which is chronic in man, is like the patient’s craving for water. There is no end to this craving. The typhoid patient says, ‘I shall drink a whole pitcher of water.’ The situation is very difficult.

There is so much confusion in the world. If you go this way, you are threatened with a shovel; if you go that way, you are threatened with a broomstick; again, in another direction, you are threatened with a shoe-beating. Besides, one cannot think of God unless one lives in solitude. The goldsmith melts gold to make ornaments. But how can he do his work well if he is disturbed again and again? Suppose you are separating rice from bits of husk. You must do it all by yourself. Every now and then you have to take the rice in your hand to see how clean it is. But how can you do your work well if you are called away again and again?”

A DEVOTEE: “What then is the way, sir?”

MASTER: “There is a way. One succeeds if one develops a strong spirit of renunciation.

Give up at once, with determination, what you know to be unreal. Once, when I was seriously ill, I was taken to the physician Gangaprasad Sen. He said to me: ‘I shall give you a medicine, but you mustn’t drink any water. You may take pomegranate juice.’ Everyone wondered how I could live without water; but I was determined not to drink it. I said to myself: ‘I am a paramahamsa and not a goose. I shall drink only milk.’

You have to spend a few days in solitude.

If you but touch the ‘granny’ you are safe.

Turn yourself into gold and then live wherever you please. After realizing God and divine love in solitude one may live in the world as well. (To Rākhāl ’s father) That is why I ask the youngsters to stay with me; for they will develop love of God by staying here a few days. After that they can very well lead the life of a householder.”

Problem of good and evil

DEVOTEE: “If God is responsible for everything, then why should people speak of good and evil, virtue and vice? One commits sin also by the will of God, isn’t that so?”

ANOTHER DEVOTEE: “How can we understand the will of God?”

MASTER: “There is no doubt that virtue and vice exist in the world; but God Himself is unattached to them. There may be good and bad smells in the air, but the air is not attached to them. The very nature of God’s creation is that good and evil, righteousness and unrighteousness, will always exist in the world. Among the trees in the garden one finds mango and jack-fruit, and hog plum too. Haven’t you noticed that even wicked men are needed? Suppose there are rough tenants on an estate; then the landlord must send a ruffian to control them.”

The conversation again turned to the life of the householder.

MASTER (to the devotees): “You see, by leading a householder’s life a man needlessly dissipates his mental powers. The loss he thus incurs can be made up if he takes to monastic life. The first birth is a gift of the father; then comes the second birth, when one is invested with the sacred thread. There is still another birth at the time of being initiated into monastic life. The two obstacles to spiritual life are ‘woman’ and ‘gold’.

Attachment to ‘woman’ diverts one from the way leading to God. Man doesn’t know what it is that causes his downfall. Once, while going to the Fort, I couldn’t see at all that I was driving down a sloping road; but when the carriage went inside the Fort, I realized how far down I had come. Alas! Women keep men deluded. Captain says, ‘My wife is full of wisdom.’ The man possessed by a ghost does not realize it. He says, ‘Why, I am all right!’ "

The devotees listened to these words in deep silence.

MASTER: “It is not lust alone that one should be afraid of in the life of the world. There is also anger. Anger arises when obstacles are placed in the way of desire.” M: “At meal-time, sometimes a cat stretches out its paw to take the fish from my plate. But I cannot show any resentment.

MASTER: “Why? You may even beat it once in a while. What’s the harm? A worldly man should hiss, but he shouldn’t pour out his venom. He mustn’t actually injure others. But he should make a show of anger to protect himself from enemies. Otherwise they will injure him. But a sannyasi need not even hiss.”

A DEVOTEE: “I find it is extremely difficult for a householder to realize God. How few people can lead the life you prescribe for them! I haven’t found any.”

MASTER: “Why should that be so? I have heard of a deputy magistrate named Pratap Singh. He is a great man. He has many virtues: compassion and devotion to God. He meditates on God. Once he sent for me. Certainly there are people like him. “The practice of discipline is absolutely necessary. Why shouldn’t a man succeed if he practises sadhana? But he doesn’t have to work hard if he has real faith-faith in his guru’s words. Once Vyasa was about to cross the Jamuna, when the gopis also arrived there, wishing to go to the other side.

But no ferry-boat was in sight. They said to Vyasa, ‘Revered sir, what shall we do now?’ ‘Don’t worry’, said Vyasa. ‘I will take you across. But I am very hungry.

Have you anything for me to eat?’ The gopis had plenty of milk, cream, and butter with them. Vyasa ate it all. Then the gopis asked, ‘Well, sir, what about crossing the river?’ Vyasa stood on the bank of the Jamuna and said, ‘O Jamuna, if I have not eaten anything today, then may your waters part so that we may all walk to the other side.’ No sooner did the sage utter these words than the waters of the Jamuna parted.

The gopis were speechless with wonder. ‘He ate so much just now,’ they said to themselves, ‘and he says, “If I have not eaten anything. . .”!’ Vyasa had the firm conviction that it was not himself, but the Narayana who dwelt in his heart, that had partaken of the food.

“Sankaracharya was a Brahmajnani, to be sure. But at the beginning he too had the feeling of differentiation. He didn’t have absolute faith that everything in the world is Brahman.

One day as he was coming out of the Ganges after his bath, he saw an untouchable, a butcher, carrying a load of meat. Inadvertently the butcher touched his body.

Sankara shouted angrily, ‘Hey there! How dare you touch me?’ ‘Revered sir,’ said the butcher, ‘I have not touched you, nor have you touched me. The Pure Self cannot be the body nor the five elements nor the twenty-four cosmic principles.’ Then Sankara came to his senses.

Once Jadabharata was carrying King Rahugana’s palanquin and at the same time giving a discourse on Self-Knowledge. The king got down from the palanquin and said to Jadabharata, ‘Who are you, pray?’ The latter answered, ‘I am Not this, not this-I am the Pure Self.’

He had perfect faith that he was the Pure Self.

“‘I am He’, ‘I am the Pure Self’-that is the conclusion of the jnanis. But the bhaktas say, ‘The whole universe is the glory of God.’ Who would recognize a wealthy man without his power and riches? But it is quite different when God Himself, gratified by the aspirant’s devotion, says to him, ‘You are the same as Myself.’

Suppose a king is seated in his court, and his cook enters the hall, sits on the throne, and says, ‘O King, you and I are the same!’ People will certainly call him a madman. But suppose one day the king, pleased with the cook’s service, says to him: ‘Come, sit beside me.

There is nothing wrong in that. There is no difference between you and me.’ Then, if the cook sits on the throne with the king, there is no harm in it. It is not good for ordinary people to say, ‘I am He’. The waves belong to the water. Does the water belong to the waves?

Result of yoga through bhakti

“The upshot of the whole thing is that, no matter what path you follow, yoga is impossible unless the mind becomes quiet. The mind of a yogi is under his control; he is not under the control of his mind. When the mind is quiet the prana stops functioning.

Then one gets kumbhaka. One may have the same kumbhaka through bhaktiyoga as well; the prana stops functioning through love of God too. In the kirtan the musician sings, ‘Nitai amar mata hati!’ Repeating this, he goes into a spiritual mood and cannot sing the whole sentence. He simply sings, ‘Hati! Hati’ When the mood deepens he sings only, ‘Ha! Ha!’ Thus his prana stops through ecstasy, and kumbhaka follows.

“Suppose a man is sweeping a courtyard with his broom, and another man comes and says to him: ‘Hello! So-and-so is no more. He is dead.’ Now, if the dead person was not related to the sweeper, the latter goes on with his work, remarking casually: ‘Ah! That’s too bad. He is dead. He was a good fellow.’ The sweeping goes on all the same.

But if the dead man was his relative, then the broom drops from his hand. ‘Ah!’ he exclaims, and he too drops to the ground. His prana has stopped functioning.

He can neither work nor think. Haven’t you noticed, among women, that if one of them looks at something or listens to something in speechless amazement, the other women say to her, ‘What? Are you in ecstasy?’ In this instance, too, the prana has stopped functioning, and so she remains speechless, with mouth agape.

“It will not do merely to repeat, ‘I am He, I am He.’ There are certain signs of a Jnāni.

Narendra has big protruding eyes. (Pointing to a devotee) He also has good eyes and forehead.