Narendra's Poverty

Tuesday, October 27, 1885

Sri Ramakrishna was seated in his room. Narendra and other devotees were with him. The Master was conversing with them. It was about ten o’clock in the morning.

NARENDRA “How strangely the doctor behaved yesterday!”

A DEVOTEE: “Yes, the fish swallowed the hook but the line broke.”

MASTER (smiling): “But the hook is in its mouth. It will die and float on the water.” Narendra went out for a few minutes. Sri Ramakrishna was talking to M about Purna.

MASTER; “The devotee looking on himself as Prakriti likes to embrace and kiss God, whom he regards as the Purusha. I am telling this just to you. Ordinary people should not hear these things.”

M: “God sports in various ways. Even this illness of ours is one of His sports. Because you are ill new devotees are coming to you.“MASTER (smiling): “Bhupati says, ‘What would people have thought of you if you had just rented a house to live in, without being ill?’ Well, what has happened to the doctor?”

M: “As regards God! he accepts for himself the attitude of a servant. He says, ‘Thou art the Master and I am Thy servant.’ But then he asks me, ‘Why do you apply the idea of God to a man?’ "

MASTER: “Just see! Are you going to him today?”

M: “I shall see him if it is necessary to report your condition.”

MASTER: “How do you find this boy Bankim? If he cannot come here you may give him instruction. That will awaken his spiritual consciousness.”

Narendra’s poverty

Narendra entered the room and sat near Sri Ramakrishna. Since the death of his father he had been very much worried about the family’s financial condition. He now had to support his mother and brothers. Besides, he was preparing himself for his law examination. Lately he had served as a teacher in the Vidyāsāgar School at Bowbazar. He wanted to make some arrangement for his family and thus get rid of all his worries.

Sri Ramakrishna knew all this. He looked affectionately at Narendra.

MASTER (to M.): “Well, I said to Keshab, ‘One should be satisfied with what comes unsought.’ The son of an aristocrat does not worry about his food and drink. He gets his monthly allowance. Narendra, too, belongs to a high plane. Then why is he in such straitened circumstances? God certainly provides everything for the man who totally surrenders himself to Him.”

M: “Narendra, too, will be provided for. It is not yet too late for him.”

MASTER: “But a man who feels intense renunciation within doesn’t calculate that way.

He doesn’t say to himself, ‘I shall first make an arrangement for the family and then practise sādhanā .’ No, he doesn’t feel that way if he has developed intense dispassion. A goswami said in the course of his preaching, ‘If a man has ten thousand rupees he can maintain himself on the income; then, free from worries, he can pray to God.’

“Keshab Sen also said something like that. He said to me: ‘Sir, suppose a man wants, first of all, to make a suitable arrangement of his property and estate and then think of God; will It be all right for him to do so? Is there anything wrong about it?’ I said to him: ‘When a man feels utter dispassion, he looks on the world as a deep well and his relatives as venomous cobras. Then he cannot think of saving money or making arrangements about his property.’ God alone is real and all else illusory. To think of the world instead of God!

“A woman was stricken with intense grief. She first tied her nose-ring in the corner of her cloth and then dropped to the ground, saying, ‘Oh, friends, what a calamity has befallen me!’ But she was very careful not to break the nose-ring.“All laughed. At these words Narendra felt as if struck by an arrow, and lay down on the floor.

M. understood what was going through Narendra’s mind and said with a smile:

“What’s the matter? Why are you lying down?” The Master said to M., with a smile: “You remind me of a woman who felt ashamed of herself for sleeping with her brother-in-law and couldn’t understand the conduct of those women who lived as mistresses of strangers. By way of excusing herself she said: ‘After all, a brother-in-law is one’s own. But even that kills me with shame. And how do these women dare to live with strangers?’ "

M. himself had been leading a worldly life. Instead of being ashamed of his own conduct, he smiled at Narendra. That was why Sri Ramakrishna referred to the woman who criticized the conduct of immoral women, though she herself had illicit love for her brother-in-law.

A Vaishnava minstrel was singing downstairs. Sri Ramakrishna was pleased with his song and said that someone should give him a little money. A devotee went downstairs. The Master asked, “How much did he give the singer?” When he was told that the devotee had given only two pice, he said: “Just that much? This money is the fruit of his servitude. How much he had to flatter his master and suffer to earn it! I thought he would give at least four ānnās .”

The younger Naren had promised to show Sri Ramakrishna the nature of electricity with an instrument. The instrument was exhibited.

It was 2pm.

Sri Ramakrishna and the devotees were sitting in the room. Atul brought with him a friend who was a munsiff. Bagchi, the famous painter from Shikadarpara, arrived. He presented the Master with several paintings. Sri Ramakrishna examined the pictures with great delight.

Bagchi had long hair like a woman’s. Sri Ramakrishna said: “Many days ago a sannyāsi came to Dakshineswar who had hair nine cubits long. He used to chant the name of Radha. He was genuine.”

Master in samādhi & Narendra’s singing

A few minutes later Narendra began to sing. The songs were full of the spirit of renunciation. He sang:

O Lord, must all my days pass by so utterly in vain? Down the path of hope I gaze with longing, day and night…

He sang again:

O Mother, Thou my inner Guide, ever awake within my heart; Day and night Thou holdest me in Thy lap. Why dost Thou show such tenderness to this unworthy child of Thine? . . .Then he sang:

O gracious Lord, if like a bee My soul cannot imbed itself Deep in the Lotus of Thy Feet, What comfort can I find in life? What can I gain with wealth untold, Neglecting Thee, supremest Wealth? I take no pleasure in the sight Of the most lovely infant’s face, If all its loveliness reveals No trace of Thy dear features there. Moonlight is meaningless to me As darkest night, if Thy love’s moon Rise not in my sours firmament. The purest wife’s unspotted love Is stained, if in it is not set The priceless gem of love divine. O Lord, whenever doubt of Thee, Born of base error and neglect, Assails my mind, I writhe in pain As from a serpent’s poisonous fangs! What more, O Master, shall I say? Thou art my heart’s most precious Jewel, The Home of Everlasting Joy.

It was half past five in the afternoon when Dr. Sarkar came to the Master’s room at Syampukur, felt his pulse, and prescribed the necessary medicine. Many devotees were present, including Narendra, Girish, Dr. Dukari, the younger Naren, Rakhal, M., Sarat, and Shyam Basu.

Dr. Sarkar talked a little about the Master’s illness and watched him take the first dose of medicine. Then Sri Ramakrishna began to talk to Shyam Basu. Dr. Sarkar started to leave, saying, “Now that you are talking to Shyam Basu, I shall say good-bye to you.”

The Master and a devotee asked the doctor if he would like to hear some songs.

DR. SARKAR (to the Master): “I should like it very much. But music makes you frisk about like a kid and cut all sorts of capers. You must suppress your emotion.”

Dr. Sarkar took his seat once more, and Narendra began to sing in his sweet voice, to the accompaniment of the Tānpura and Mridanga:

This universe, wondrous and infinite,

O Lord, is Thy handiwork; And the whole world is a treasure-house Full of Thy beauty and grace. . .He sang again: In dense darkness, O Mother, Thy formless beauty sparkles; Therefore the yogis meditate in a dark mountain cave. In the lap of boundless dark, on Mahanirvanas waves upborne, Peace flows serene and inexhaustible.

Taking the form of the Void, in the robe of darkness wrapped, Who art Thou, Mother, seated alone in the shrine of samādhi? From the Lotus of Thy fear-scattering Feet flash Thy love’s lightnings;

Thy Spirit-Face shines forth with laughter terrible and loud! Dr. Sarkar said to M., “This song is dangerous for him.” Sri Ramakrishna asked M. what the doctor had said. M. replied, “The doctor is afraid that this song may throw your mind into samādhi.”