Master's attitude toward women

I am very much afraid of women. When I look at one I feel as if a tigress were coming to devour me. Besides, I find that their bodies, their limbs, and even their pores are very large.

This makes me look upon them as she-monsters. I used to be much more afraid of women than I am at present. I wouldn’t allow one to come near me. Now I persuade my mind in various ways to look upon women as forms of the Blissful Mother.

A woman is a part of the Divine Mother. But as far as a man is concerned, especially a sannyāsi or a devotee of God, she is to be shunned. I don’t allow a woman to sit near me very long, no matter how great her devotion may be. After a little while I say to her, ‘Go and see the temples.’

If that doesn’t make her move, I myself leave the room on the pretext of smoking.

“I find that some men are not at all interested in women. Niranjan says, ‘A woman never enters my thought.’ I asked Hari about it. He too says that his mind does not dwell on woman.

Woman monopolizes 3/4 of the mind, which should be given to God. After the birth of a child, almost the whole mind is frittered away on the family.

Then what is left to give to God?

Again, there are some men who shed their last drop of blood, as it were, to keep their wives out of mischief. There is the gate-keeper, an old man, whose wife is only 14 years old. She had to live with him.

They lived in a thatched hut with walls made of dry leaves. People made holes in the wall to peep in. Now she has left him and run away.

I know another man. He doesn’t know where to keep his wife. There was some trouble at home, and now he is greatly worried. Let’s not talk about these things any more. “If a man lives with a woman, he cannot help coming under her control. Worldly men get up and sit down at the bidding of women. They all speak highly of their wives. “Once I wanted to go to a certain place. I asked Ramlal’s aunt about it.

She forbade me to go; so I could not. A little while later I said to myself: ‘I am not a householder. I have renounced “woman and gold”. If, in spite of that, this is my plight, one can well imagine how much worldly people are controlled by their wives.’”

M: “One who lives in the midst of ‘woman and gold’ can’t help being stained by it, even if only slightly. You told us about Jaynarayan. He was such a great scholar. When you visited him he was an old man. You found him warming pillows and blankets in the sun.”

MASTER: “But he had no vanity of scholarship. Further, what he said about the last days of his life came to pass. He spent them in Benares, following the injunctions of the scriptures. I saw his children. They were wearing high boots and had been educated in English schools.”

By means of questions and answers Sri Ramakrishna now explained to M. his own exalted state.

MASTER: “At first I went stark mad. Why am I less so now? But I get into that state now and then.” M: “You don’t have just one mood. As you said, you experience various moods.

Sometimes you are like a child, sometimes like a madman, sometimes like an inert thing, and sometimes like a ghoul. And now and then you are a natural person.” MASTER: “Yes, like a child. But I also experience the moods of a boy and a young man.

When I give instruction I feel like a young man. Then there is my boyishness: like a boy 12 years old, I want to be frivolous. That is why I joke and make merry with the youngsters.

“What do you think of Naran?” M: “He has good traits, sir.”

MASTER: “Yes, the shell of the gourd is good. The Tānpura made out of it will give good music. He says to me, ‘You are everything.’ Everyone speaks of me according to his comprehension. Some say that I am simply a sādhu, a devotee of God.

“If I forbid Naran to do something, he understands it very well. The other day I asked him to pull up the curtain, but he didn’t do it. I had forbidden him to tie a knot, to sew his clothes, to lock a box, to pull up a curtain, and similar things. He understood it all. He who would renounce the world must practise all these disciplines. They are meant for sannyāsis.

While practising sādhanā a man should regard a woman as a raging forest fire or a black cobra. But in the state of perfection, after the realization of God, she appears as the Blissful Mother. Then you will look on her as a form of the Divine Mother.” A few days earlier Sri Ramakrishna had spoken many words of warning to Narayan about women. He had said: “Don’t let yourself touch the air near a woman’s body.

Cover yourself with a heavy sheet lest the air should touch your body. And keep yourself eight cubits, two cubits, or at least one cubit away from all women except your mother.”

MASTER (to M.): “Naran’s mother said to him about me, ‘Even we are enchanted by the sight of him, not to speak of you, a mere child.’ None but the guileless can realize God.

How guileless Niranjan is!” M: “True, sir.”

MASTER: “Didn’t you notice him that day in the carriage on the way to Calcutta? He is always the same-without guile. A man shows one side of his nature inside his house and another to the outside world. Since his father’s death Narendra has been worried about his worldly affairs. He has a slightly calculating mind. How I wish that other youngsters were like Niranjan and Narendra!

Today I went to the village to see Nilkantha’s theatrical performance. It was given at Nabin Niyogi’s house. The children there are very bad; they have nothing to do but find fault.

In such a place a person’s spiritual feeling is restrained. During a performance the other day I saw Doctor Madhu shedding tears. I looked at him alone. (To M.) “Can you tell me why people feel so much attracted to this place [meaning himself]? What does it mean?” M: “It reminds me of an episode in Krishna’s life at Vrindāvan. Krishna transformed Himself into the cowherd boys and the calves, whereupon the cows began to feel more strongly attracted to the cowherd boys, the gopis, and the calves.” MASTER: “That is the attraction of God. The truth is, the Divine Mother creates the spell and it is that which attracts people. 650"Well, not as many people come here as used to go to Keshab Sen. And how many people respect and honour Keshab! He is known even in England. Queen Victoria spoke with him. It is said in the Gitā that God’s power is manifest in him who is honoured and respected by many. But so many people do not come here.” M: “It was the householders who went to Keshab Sen.” MASTER: “Yes, that is true. The worldly-minded.” M: “Will what Keshab has founded remain a long time?” MASTER: “Why, he has written a samhita, a book of rules for the guidance of the members of his Brahmo Samaj.”

M: “But it is quite different with the work done by a Divine Incarnation Himself- Chaitanya’s work, for instance. You yourself tell us that Chaitanyadeva said, ‘The seeds I have sown will certainly bear fruit some time or other.’ A man left some seeds on the cornice of a house. Later on the house fell down and trees grew from those seeds.”

MASTER: “Many people go to the Samaj founded by Shivanath and friends. Isn’t that so?”

M: “Yes, sir. People of that sort.”

MASTER (smiling): “Yes, yes. The worldly-minded go there, but not many of those who long for God and are trying to renounce ‘woman and gold’.” M: “It will be fine if a current flows from this place. Everything will be carried away by its force. Nothing that comes out of this place will be monotonous.”

MASTER (smiling): “I keep men’s own ideals intact. I ask a Vaishnava to hold to his Vaishnava attitude and a Sakta to his. But this also I say to them ‘Never feel that your path alone is right and that the paths of others a wrong and full of errors. Hindus, Muslims, and Christians are going to the same destination by different paths. A man can realize God by following his own path if his prayer is sincere.

Vijay’s mother-in-law said to me, ‘Why don’t you tell Balarām that it unnecessary to worship God with form; that it will be enough if he prays to the formless Satchidananda?’

I replied, ‘Why should I say such a thing, and why should he listen to me even if I should say it?’ "

M: “Yes. There are different paths to suit time, place, and the fitness of the candidate. Whatever path a man may follow, he will ultimately reach God if he is pure of heart and has sincere longing. That is what you say.”

Sri Ramakrishna was sitting in his room. Hari, the relative of the Mukherjis, M., and other devotees were on the floor. An unknown person saluted the Master and took a seat. The Master remarked later that his eyes were not good. They were yellow, like a cat’s.

Hari prepared a smoke for Sri Ramakrishna.

MASTER (to Hari): “Let me see the palm of your hand. This mark is good sign. Relax your hand.”

He took Hari’s hand into his as if to feel its weight.

MASTER: “He is still childlike. As yet there is no blemish in him. (To the devotees) From the hand I can tell whether a person is deceitful or guileless. (To Hari) Why, you should go to your father-in-law’s house. You should talk to your wife and have a little fun with her if you like. (To M.) What do you say?” (M. and the others laugh.)

M: “If a new pot becomes bad, one can no longer keep milk in it.”

MASTER (smiling): “How do you know that it is not already bad?”

The 2 Mukherjis, Mahendra and Priyanath, were brothers. They did not work in an office, but had their own flour-mill. Priyanath had been an engineer. Sri Ramakrishna talked to Hari about the Mukherji brothers.

MASTER: “The elder brother is nice, isn’t he? He is artless. Isn’t the younger brother very miserly? I understand that since coming here he has improved a great deal. He once said to me, ‘I didn’t know anything before.’ (To Hari) Do they give anything in charity?”

HARI: “Not much, as far as I can see. Their elder brother, now dead, was a very good man. He was very charitable.”

Physical signs indicating character

MASTER (to M. and the others): “Whether a person will make spiritual progress or not can be known to a great extent by his physical marks. The hand of a deceitful person is heavy.

A snub nose is not a good sign. Sambhu had that kind of nose; hence he was not quite sincere in spite of all his wisdom. Pigeon-breast is not a good sign either. Hard bones and heavy elbow-joints are bad signs too; and yellow eyes, like a cat’s.

A man becomes very mean if he has lips that are thick, like a dome’s. A brahmin was here for a few months acting as priest of the Vishnu temple. I couldn’t eat the food he touched.

One day I suddenly exclaimed, ‘He is a dome!’ Afterwards he said to me: ‘Yes, sir. We live in the dome quarters. I know how to make wicker baskets and such things, Just like a dome.’

There are other bad physical signs: one eye and squint eyes. It is rather better to have one eye, but never squint eyes. Squint-eyed people are wicked and deceitful.

“A student of Mahesh Nyayaratna’s came here. He described himself as an atheist. He said to Hriday: ‘I am an atheist. You may take up the position of a believer in God and argue with me.’

I noticed that his eyes were yellow, like a cat’s.

“Whether a person is good or bad can also be known from the way he walks.”

Sri Ramakrishna paced the verandah. M. and Baburam walked with him.

MASTER (to Hazra): “A man came here. I saw that his eyes were like a cat’s. He asked me: ‘Do you know astrology? I am in some difficulty.’ I said: ‘No, I don’t. Go to Baranagore. There you will find astrologers.’”