Visit to Adhar's house

Wednesday, October 10, 1883

Adhar had invited the Master to come to his house on the occasion of the Durga Puja festival. It was the third day of the worship of the Divine Mother. When Sri Ramakrishna arrived at Adhar’s house, he found Adhar’s friend Sarada, Balarām’s father, and Adhar’s neighbours and relatives waiting for him.

The Master went into the worship hall to see the evening worship. When it was over, he remained standing there in an abstracted mood and sang in praise of the Divine Mother:

Glories of the Divine Mother

Out of my deep affliction rescue me, O Redeemer! Terrified by the threats of the King of Death am I!

Left to myself, I shall perish soon;

Save me, oh, save me now, I pray!

Mother of all the worlds! Thou, the Support of mankind! Thou, the Bewitcher of all, the Mother of all that has life! Vrindāvan’s charming Radha art Thou, Dearest playmate of Braja’s Beloved. Blissful comrade of Krishna, well-spring of Krishna’s lila, Child of Himālaya, best of the gopis, beloved of Govinda!

Sacred Ganga, Giver of moksha!

Śakti! The universe sings Thy praise. Thou art the Spouse of Śiva, the Ever-blessed, the All; Sometimes Thou takest form and sometimes art absolute.

Eternal Beloved of Mahādeva,

Who can fathom Thine infinite glories?

The Master went to Adhar’s drawing-room on the second floor and took a seat, surrounded by the guests. Still in a mood of divine fervour, he said: “Gentlemen, I have eaten. Now go and enjoy the feast.” Was the Master hinting that the Divine Mother had partaken of Adhar’s offering? Did he identify himself with the Divine Mother and therefore say, “I have eaten”?

Then, addressing the Divine Mother, he continued: “Shall I eat, O Mother? Or will You eat? O Mother, the very Embodiment of the Wine of Divine Bliss!” Did the Master look on himself as one with the Divine Mother? Had the Mother incarnated Herself as the Son to instruct mankind in the ways of God? Was this why the Master said, “I have eaten”?

In that state of divine ecstasy Sri Ramakrishna saw the six centres in his body, and the Divine Mother dwelling in them. He sang a song to that effect. Again he sang:

My mind is overwhelmed with wonder, Pondering the Mother’s mystery; Her very name removes The fear of Kala, Death himself; Beneath Her feet lies Maha-Kala. Why should Her hue be kala, black? Many the forms of black, but She Appears astoundingly black; When contemplated in the heart, She lights the lotus that blossoms there. Her form is black, and She is named Kāli, the Black One. Blacker than black Is She! Beholding Her, Man is bewitched for evermore; No other form can he enjoy. In wonderment asks Ramprasad: Where dwells this Woman so amazing? At Her mere name, his mind Becomes at once absorbed in Her, Though he has never yet beheld Her.

The fear of the devotees flies away if they but seek shelter at the feet of the Divine Mother. Was that why the Master sang the following song?: I have surrendered my soul at the fearless feet of the Mother;

Am I afraid of Death any more? Unto the tuft of hair on my head Is tied the almighty mantra, Mother Kāli’s name. My body I have sold in the market-place of the world And with it have bought Sri Durga’s name.

Deep within my heart I have planted the name of Kāli, The Wish-fulfilling Tree of heaven; When Yama, King of Death, appears, To him I shall open my heart and show it growing there. I have cast out from me my six unflagging foes;

Ready am I to sail life’s sea,

Crying, “To Durga, victory!”

Sarada was stricken with grief on account of his son’s death. So Adhar had taken him to Dakshineswar to visit the Master. Sarada was a devotee of Sri Chaitanya. Sri Ramakrishna looked at him and was inspired with the ideal of Gaurānga.

He sang:

Why has My body turned so golden? It is not time for this to be: Many the ages that must pass, before as Gaurānga I appear. Here in the age of Dwapara My sport is not yet at an end; How strange this transformation is! The peacock glistens, all of gold; arid golden, too, the cuckoo gleams!

Everything around Me here has turned to gold! Naught else appears

But gold, whichever way I look.

What can it mean, this miracle, that everything I see is gold?

Ah, I can guess its meaning now:

Radha has come to Mathura, and that is why My skin is gold. For she is like the bhramara, and so has given Me her hue. Dark blue My body was but now; yet in the twinkling of an eye It turned to gold. Have I become Radha by contemplating her? I cannot imagine where I am-in Mathura or Navadvip. But how could this have come to pass?

Not yet is Balarama born as Nitai, nor has Nārada Become Srivas, nor Yaśoda as Mother Sachi yet returned. Then why should I, among them all, alone assume a golden face?

Not yet is Father Nanda born as Jagannath; then why should I

Be thus transmuted into gold?

Perhaps because in Mathura sweet Radha has appeared, My skin has borrowed Gaurānga’s golden hue.

Sri Ramakrishna sang again, still overpowered with the ideal of Gaurānga: Surely Gaurānga is lost in a state of blissful ecstasy; In an exuberance of joy, he laughs and weeps and dances and sings.

He takes a wood for Vrindāvan, the Ganges for the blue Jamuna;

Loudly he sobs and weeps. Yet, though he is all gold without, He is all black within-black with the blackness of Krishna!

The Master continued to sing, assuming the attitude of a woman devotee infatuated with love for Gaurānga: Why do my neighbours raise such a scandal? Why do they cast aspersions upon me Simply because of Gaurānga? How can they understand my feelings? How can I ever explain? Can I ever explain at all? Alas, to whom shall I explain it? Ah, but they make me die of shame! Once on a time, at the house of Srivas, Gora was loudly singing the kirtan, When, on the ground of the courtyard, Falling, he rolled in an ecstasy. I, who was standing near him, Seeing him where he lay entranced. Was suddenly lost to outward sense. Until the wife of Srivas revived me. Another day, in the bhaktas’ procession, Gora was sweetly singing the kirtan; Clasping the outcastes to him, He softened the unbelievers’ hearts. Through Nadia’s market-place He chanted Lord Hari’s holy name. I followed the throng, and from close by Caught a glimpse of his golden feet. Once by the Ganges’ bank he stood, His body bright as the sun and moon Charming all with his beauty. I too had come, to fetch some water,

As I looked from one side, My water-jar slipped and fell to the ground. My sister-in-law, the gossip, saw me, And now she is spreading it everywhere. Balarām’s father was a Vaishnava; hence the Master also sang of the divine love of the gopis for their beloved Krishna: I have not found my Krishna, O friend! How cheerless my home without Him!

Ah, if Krishna could only be the hair upon my head,

Carefully I should braid it then, and deck it with bakul-flowers; Carefully I should fashion the braids out of my Krishna-hair. Krishna is black, and black is my hair; black would be one with black!

Ah, if Krishna could only be the ring I wear in my nose, Always from my nose He would hang, and my two lips could touch Him.

But it can never be, alas! Why should I idly dream?

Why should Krishna care at all to be the ring in my nose?

Ah, if Krishna could only be the bracelets on my arms, Always He would cling to my wrists, and proudly I should walk,

Shaking my bracelets to make them sound, shaking my arms to show them;

Down the king’s highway I should walk, wearing my Krishna- bracelets.

Balarām’s father was a wealthy man with estates in different parts of Orissa. An orthodox member of the Vaishnava sect, he had built temples and arranged for distribution of food to the pilgrims at various holy places. He had been spending the last years of his life in Vrindāvan. The Vaishnavas, for the most part, are bigoted in their religious views. Some of them harbour malicious feelings toward the followers of the Tantra and Vedānta. But Sri Ramakrishna never encouraged such a narrow outlook. According to his teachings, through earnestness and yearning all lovers of God will ultimately reach the same goal. The Master began the conversation in order to broaden the religious views of Balarām’s father.