Difficulty of overcoming vanity

Sunday, April 15, 1883

Surendra was a beloved lay disciple whom the Master had invited him to his house on the Annapurna Puja.

It was 6pm when Sri Ramakrishna arrived there with some of his devotees. The image of the Divine Mother had been installed in the worship hall. At Her feet lay Hibiscus flowers and vilwa-leaves; from Her neck hung a garland of flowers. Sri Ramakrishna entered the hall and bowed down before the image. Then he went to the open courtyard, where he sat on a carpet, surrounded by his devotees and disciples. A few bolsters lay on the carpet, which was covered with a white linen sheet. He was asked to lean against one of these, but he pushed it aside.

Difficulty of overcoming vanity

MASTER (to the devotees): “To lean against a bolster! You see, it is very difficult to give up vanity. You may discriminate, saying that the ego is nothing at all; but still it comes, nobody knows from where. A goat’s legs jerk for a few moments even after its head has been cut off. Or perhaps you are frightened in a dream; you shake off sleep and are wide awake, but still you feel your heart palpitating. Egotism is exactly like that. You may drive it away, but still it appears from somewhere. Then you look sullen and say: ‘What! I have not been shown proper respect!’”

KEDĀR: “One should be lowlier than a straw and patient as a tree.”

MASTER: “As for me, I consider myself as a speck of the dust of the devotee’s feet.” Vaidyanath arrived. He was a well-educated man, a lawyer of the High Court of Calcutta. With folded hands he saluted the Master and took his seat at one side.

SURENDRA (to the Master): “He is one of my relatives.”

MASTER: “Yes, I see he has a nice nature.”

SURENDRA: “He has come here because he wants to ask you a question or two.”

Different manifestations of divine power

MASTER (to Vaidyanath): “All that you see is the manifestation of God’s Power. No one can do anything without this Power. But you must remember that there is not an equal manifestation of God’s Power in all things. Vidyasagar once asked me whether God endowed some with greater power than others. I said to him: ‘If there are no greater and lesser manifestations of His Power, then why have we taken the trouble to visit you? Have you grown two horns?’ So it stands to reason that God exists in all beings as the 232All-pervasive Power; but the manifestations of His Power are different in different beings.”

Free will and God’s will

VAIDYANATH: “Sir, I have a doubt. People speak of free will. They say that a man can do either good or evil according to his will. Is it true? Are we really free to do whatever we like?”

MASTER: “Everything depends on the will of God. The world is His play. He has created all these different things-great and small, strong and weak, good and bad, virtuous and vicious. This is all His maya, His sport. You must have observed that all the trees in a garden are not of the same kind.

“As long as a man has not realized God, he thinks he is free. It is God Himself who keeps this error in man. Otherwise sin would have multiplied. Man would not have been afraid of sin, and there would have been no punishment for it.

“But do you know the attitude of one who has realized God? He feels: ‘I am the machine, and Thou, O Lord, art the Operator. I am the house and Thou art the Indweller. I am the chariot and Thou art the Driver. I move as Thou movest me; I speak as Thou makest me speak.’

(To Vaidyanath): “It is not good to argue. Isn’t that so?”

VAIDYANATH: “Yes, sir. The desire to argue disappears when a man attains wisdom.” The Master, out of his stock of a dozen English words, said, “Thank you!” in the most charming way, and all laughed.

MASTER (to Vaidyanath): “You will make spiritual progress. People don’t trust a man when he speaks about God. Even if a great soul affirms that he has seen God, still the average person will not accept his words. He says to himself, ‘If this man has really seen God, then let him show Him to me.’ But can a man learn to feel a person’s pulse in one day? He must go about with a physician for many days; only then can he distinguish the different pulses. He must be in the company of those with whom the examination of the pulse has become a regular profession.

“Can anyone and everyone pick out a yarn of a particular count? If you are in that trade, you can distinguish in a moment a forty-count thread from a forty-one.” The kirtan was about to begin. Some Vaishnavas were seated on one side with their mridangas and cymbals. A drummer began to play on his instrument preparatory to the singing. The sweet and melodious sound of the mridanga filled the courtyard, calling to mind the ecstatic kirtan of Sri Gaurānga. The Master passed into a deep spiritual state. Now and then he looked at the drummer and said, “Ah! Ah! My hair is all standing on end.”

The singers asked what kind of song they should sing.

The Master said humbly, “Something about Gaurānga, if you please.”

The kirtan began. They sang about the celestial beauty of Sri Gaurānga:

The beauty of Gaurānga’s face Glows brighter than the brightest gold; His smile illumines all the world. Who cares for even a million moons Shining in the blue autumn sky?

The chief musician added improvised lines as they sang: “O friend, his face shines like the full moon!” “But it does not wane nor has it any stain.” “It illumines the devotee’s heart.”

Again he improvised: “His face is bathed with the essence of a million moons.” At these words the Master went into deep samādhi. After a short while he regained consciousness of the sense world. Then he suddenly stood up, overpowered by his spiritual mood, and sang improvised lines with the professionals, thinking himself to be a milkmaid of Vrindāvan gone mad with the beauty of Sri Krishna’s form: “Whose fault is it-my mind’s or His beauty’s?” “In the three worlds I see nothing but my beloved Krishna.”

The Master danced and sang. All remained spellbound as they watched. The chief musician sang the words of a gopi: “O flute, pray stop. Can you not go to sleep?” One of the musicians added a new line: “How can it sleep? It rests on Krishna’s lips.” The Master sat down. The music went on. They sang, assuming the mood of Radha: “My eyes are blinded. My ears are deaf. I have lost the power of smell. All my senses are paralysed. But, alas, why am I left alone?”

Finally the musicians sang of the union of Radha and Krishna:

Radha and Krishna are joined at last in the Nidhu Grove of Vrindāvan; Incomparable their beauty, and limitless their love! The one half shines like yellow gold, the other like bluest sapphire; Round the neck, on one side, a wild-flower garland hangs, And, on the other, there swings a necklace of precious gems. A ring of gold adorns one ear, a ring of shell the other; Half of the brow is bright as the blazing midday sun, The other softly gleams with the glow of the rising moon. Upon one half of the head a graceful peacock feather stands, And, from the other half, there hangs a braid of hair.

As the music came to a close the Master said, “Bhagavata-Bhakta-Bhagavan”, and bowed low to the devotees seated on all sides. He touched with his forehead the ground made holy by the singing of the sacred music.

It was now about half past nine in the evening. Surendra entertained the Master and the devotees with a sumptuous feast. When it was time to take leave of their host, the Master, the devotees, and Surendra entered the worship hall and stood before the image.

SURENDRA (to the Master): “No one has sung anything about the Divine Mother today.”

MASTER (pointing to the image): “Ah! Look at the beauty of the hall. The light of the Divine Mother seems to have lighted the whole place. Such a sight fills the heart with joy. Grief and desire for pleasure disappear.

“But can one not see God as formless Reality? Of course one can But not if one has the slightest trace of worldliness. The. rishis of olden times renounced everything and then contemplated Satchidananda, the Indivisible Brahman.

“The Brahmajnanis of modern times sing of God as ‘immutable, homogeneous’. It sounds very dry to me. It seems as if the singers themselves don’t enjoy the sweetness of God’s Bliss. One doesn’t want a refreshing drink made with sugar candy if one is satisfied with mere coarse treacle.

“Just see how happy you are, looking at this image of the Deity. But those who always cry after the formless Reality do not get anything. They realize nothing either inside or outside.”

The Master sang a song to the Divine Mother:

O Mother, ever blissful as Thou art, Do not deprive Thy worthless child of bliss! My mind knows nothing but Thy Lotus Feet. The King of Death scowls at me terribly; Tell me, Mother, what shall I say to him? It was my heart’s desire to sail my boat Across the ocean of this mortal life, O Durga, with Thy name upon my lips. I never dreamt that Thou wouldst drown me here In the dark waters of this shoreless sea. Both day and night I swim among its waves, Chanting Thy saving name; yet even so There is no end, O Mother, to my grief. If I am drowned this time, in such a plight, No one will ever chant Thy name again.

Again he sang:

Repeat, O mind, my Mother Durga’s hallowed name! Whoever treads the path, repeating “Durga! Durga!”, Śiva Himself protects with His almighty trident. Thou art the day, O Mother! Thou art the dusk and the night. Sometimes Thou art man, and sometimes woman art Thou. Thou mayest even say to me: “Step aside! Go away!” Yet I shall cling to Thee, O Durga! Unto Thy feet As Thine anklets I shall cling, making their tinkling sound. Mother, when as the Kite Thou soarest in the sky, There, in the water beneath, as a minnow I shall be swimming; Upon me Thou wilt pounce, and pierce me through with Thy claws.

Thus, when the breath of life forsakes me in Thy grip, Do not deny me the shelter of Thy Lotus Feet! The Master saluted the divine image. As he came down the steps, he called softly to Rakhal: “Where are my shoes? Are they missing?” As the Master got into the carriage, Surendra and the other devotees bowed down before him. Then the carriage started for Dakshineswar. The moon still lighted the streets.